At least make sure they are 18
Why
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
