smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dicks are not precious.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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