i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
