Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
