shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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