it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
