Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
