He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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