I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
