I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
false alarm. still invincible.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize