That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
