Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
