she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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