Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize