first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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