When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You are the jesus of drinking
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
