There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
