He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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