I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
