In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
