Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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