my phone needs a breathalizer
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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