my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
