Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
