Say something about gay babies.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
