is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
