I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
