I just cut my nipple shaving
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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