I think I died a long time ago.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
