Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
