There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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