dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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