This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
