I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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