Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
