oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
