We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
