she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
