Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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