You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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