Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
