I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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