Screwed.edu
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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