do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
