Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have aggressive nipples.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize