If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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