Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
