do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
