JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
