found the other keg... it's in the tree
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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