talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
