So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize