The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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