why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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