i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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