I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
