i already hear my dad disowning me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
