the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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