Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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