yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
