office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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