I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
