Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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