He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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