I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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