Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
