Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize