Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
