didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
