He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
