Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize