they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
